


stoned children

by orphan_account



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, On Hiatus, Secret Crush, Sexual Tension, Slow Romance, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-11-07 18:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20821610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie has too many secrets that he can't tell, so he ends up carving them on the bridge.Eddie realizes this by mistake but is too afraid to take the first step.The Losers eventually realize too and try to help them.





	1. kissing bridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my main language, so there are going to be a couple of grammatical failures. I'm sorry. But I am working on fixing everything! If you see something misspelled, please let me know!
> 
> And thanks. <3

He had left his house with the intention of going out to find one of his friends, it was a summer afternoon too quiet for Richie Tozier.

He walked through the most recurring places where some losers could be, but there was no sign of them, so Richie just went to play Street Fighter. He had opened the door of the Arcade, ignoring the eyes of one of the children who were watching him from his old machines, since the incident with Bowers and his (not at all attractive) cousin, all the children of the arcade had spread the rumor that Richie Tozier, the one on the Street Fighter machine, wanted a man. Richie had never been the kind of person who cares too much about what they say about him, in fact, he can ignore any stupid rumor, but this was bothering him too much, and he didn't want this.

He approached his usual place, put his hand in his pocket and took out a coin quietly putting it inside the machine, listening to the sound of welcome to the game. He chose Ryu, as always, every conscious person knows that Ryu is the king.  
  
The first fight began against Blanka, a green beast that had won thousands of times and remembered every move that had been scheduled, beating it quickly to go to the next round. The second round began, and to his surprise came Fei Long, a small, brown Asian who did not usually seem so commonly in simple fights. He squeezed quickly making all possible combinations of attacks, feeling his fingers begin to cramp when his eyes drifted to the little character.  
  
Fei Long does not wear a shirt.  
And he has an incredible abdomen.

Richie shuddered at his thoughts, and for the first time in a long time, he lost in the second round of Street Fighter.

He knocked awkwardly on the buttons on the old machine and walked towards the exit, angry and confused. I couldn't believe it had warmed up in the abdomen of a fucking square character in an arcade machine.

\- I don't have enough sperm in my balls and I'm already disgusted with myself... - he whispered, walking down the street, staring at the floor while kicking a couple of stones that were in his path. He looked up only once in all the time he was walking aimlessly, and it had been to pet a dog that had approached happily, ready to greet him.

Such simple things raised Richie's spirits, but not now, not when he is a fag.

He walked through the most recurring places where any of the losers could be, but there was no trace of any of them, so Richie just went to play Street Fighter. He had opened the door of the arcade, ignoring the eyes of one of the children who were watching him from his old machines, since the incident with Bowers and his (not at all attractive) cousin, all the arcade children had spread the rumor that Richie Tozier, the one with the Street Fighter machine, I wanted a man. Richie had never been the kind of person who cares too much about what they say about him, in fact, he's able to ignore any stupid rumors, but this was bothering him too much, and he didn't want this.

\- Richie? - said the voice on his back.

He would recognize that voice on any fucking side, that sound so tender and stupid at the same time could not be emitted by anyone else in the damn world.

\- Eddie? - He replied pulling his head slightly back to see the face of the boy. - Are you harassing me, little pervert?

\- I don't know why the fuck I approached. - whispered the little boy rolling his eyes, but he didn't move away. - What are you doing here?

\- Waiting for your mom, we have a date. - smiled. - And you, Eds?

Eddie gave a sigh, but he wasn't upset, Richie knows when he's upset.

\- I'm going for a new spare inhaler.  
\- You don't have a spare inhaler? - He asked in mock amazement as he straightened and turned his whole body towards Eddie. - What if you get a fucking asthma attack on the way to the pharmacy? No, I can't let my little one go alone.

\- You're an idiot. - He replied with a smile as he watched Richie get up quickly and approach him.

\- Look for that inhaler, come on, come on, short legs. - He said, giving a slight blow to the boy's shoulder as he walked towards the street.

Eddie followed him, walking beside him as he smiled dumbly at the thought of not having to ask for the inhaler himself, the idea of talking to Mr. Kenee after knowing that his medications were nothing more than placebos, made him feel too much Ashamed, and the need to continue using them made him feel even worse.

He watched Richie yawn from the corner of his eye. - Have you been sleeping well, Rich?  
  
\- Not really, Eds. - he confessed rubbing his left eye. - You know, you-  
  
\- Yes, I know, my mother. - Eddie interrupted. - But do you know you can have a stroke if you don't sleep well?  
  
\- I didn't have the slightest idea, honey, tell me more. - he replied mockingly.  
  
\- I won't tell you shit. - He said annoyed.

There was nothing more to say until they found the door of the pharmacy, a door that Richie opened quickly and held it until Eddie had come in foolishly saying "M’lady" to him.  
They walked together to the counter where Mr. Kenee accommodating pamphlets that were on the long desk, not realizing that the little ones lay in front of him.

\- Mr. K. - Richie said drawing his attention slightly.  
  
\- Oh, Richie, what do you need? - Mr. Kenee answered quickly, taking all his attention off the pamphlets and giving it to the little children.

\- I need Eddie's inhaler, Eddie Kaspbrak. - He responded quickly by taking the words from an Eddie who hadn't even opened his mouth.

\- One second. - He said turning slowly and losing himself at the door behind the counter.

Eddie hit Richie lightly in the arm. - Don't say my full name, it's scary if you say it.

He let out a small laugh and squeezed Eddie's cheek. - You have a great name, Eddie Spaghetti.

\- That's even worse, Richie Tozier. - He said annoyed with his cheek pressed under Richie's fingers.

\- Are you trying to intimidate me with that little face? - he scoffed stretching his cheek even more. - Impossible.

Mr. Kenee reappeared behind the counter, causing a fright on Richie's part, who quickly released Eddie's cheek and straightened.

\- Here it is, everything on Sonia's account. - He said handing a plastic bag to Eddie, who quickly thanked and left the pharmacy with Richie on his heels.

\- As gratitude, I want ice cream. - said the tallest once out.

\- Gratitude? Why the fuck should I thank you? - he replied.

\- I just saved your fucking life by accompanying you to the pharmacy, is this how you treat the people who help you, Eddie? - He put a hand on his heart. - You've broken my heart, I believed you better than this.

Eddie let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. - Let's go for your shitty ice cream.

They walked together, too together for the taste of Richie, who could feel Eddie's shoulder almost touching his, until they reached the ice cream stand in the square and stopped next to each other.

\- What fucking taste do you want it from? - Eddie asked while taking money from his small pocket.

\- Surprise me. - Richie said amused while winking awkwardly.

Eddie paid for both ice cream, chocolate and vanilla, Richie received them for him, he knew that Eddie would not be able to touch an ice cream with his hands full of germs for the coins.

\- Could you give me a napkin? - Richie asked the seller, who quickly nodded and handed a couple of napkins that were on top of his cart to Eddie, seeing Richie with his hands occupied with both ice creams.

\- For what-

\- Put them around the cone and you won't touch the cookie with your dirty hands, little weirdo. - He said handing him the ice cream.

Eddie spent long seconds processing the information provided by Richie, thinking if it was more disgusting to touch the cone with his dirty hands or with napkins that were on top of a cart in the street. - Thank you, Rich.

After a little discussion about whether the grass would give Eddie an allergy or not, they sat under a tree and ate their ice cream in silence.  
They were in the main square, the busiest place in all of Derry, but Richie felt that there was no one but him and Eddie in that place. Only they two, sitting next to each other. Richie couldn't help turning his head slightly towards Eddie's sweet face, little freckles peeking out of his nose, delicate eyelashes, fat cheeks, dry lips-

\- Stop looking at me, idiot. - Said the little one without looking at him.

\- You suck ice cream in such a way... Eds. Did your mom teach you? - He said hiding his thoughts.  
  
Eddie pushed Richie, causing him to fall to the opposite side. - That was disgusting, Richie!

\- It can be interpreted in many ways, Eds. Don't be so dirty - He said laughing as he returned to his side. - Let me taste the vanilla.

Eddie brought the ice cream to his lips, letting the tallest lick the surface.

\- I still prefer chocolate. - He said once that Eddie removed the ice cream from his lips. - Do you want chocolate?

\- Fine. - replied the little one.

Richie put his lips on the chocolate surface until he left a light layer on them and stretched his mouth towards Eddie. - Go ahead, Eds.

Eddie looked at him doubtfully for a second and then looked at his ice cream. - I think my appetite went away.

Richie laughed weakly and licked his lips, taking off the chocolate and this time bringing his ice cream to Eddie, who licked the ice cream slightly.

\- It's too sweet. - He said once he finished and licked his ice cream again. - It will give you diabetes.

\- Worth it. - He replied imitating the little one.

The clock on Eddie's wrist rang suddenly, causing a fright among the children. Eddie looked at his watch with annoyance and rose from the floor with a sigh.

\- I have to go, Rich, my mom wants to go buy shoes with me at five.

\- Did you set an alarm to go shopping for shoes with your mom? - He said trying to contain his laughter.

\- Fuck you, Richie. - He turned around.

\- Thanks for the ice cream, Eddie. - Shouted amused, receiving a frown with the middle finger in response to the little one.  
  
Richie knew that he liked Eddie, he had known from the moment he saw that round and adorable face, but he had never realized the magnitude of the love he felt for him, it was too much love... it hurt. It hurt too much to be the abomination he was, and to feel what he felt for him, Eddie didn't deserve this.

He took the last bite of his ice cream cookie and got up from the floor, wiping his pants and getting underway, he needed to find a way to silence the guilt voices in his head and release everything, or his heart would explode. Richie Tozier never reserves things, he releases them, talks and keeps talking, it's the best he knows how to do. But he was afraid, or something similar, could not understand what he felt. His vocabulary was not so broad to find the right words.

He walked slowly down the street, counting every line, stone and ant that peeked out of his feet, losing the sense of time. He wanted to think that there was something worse than the fear he felt. He could be afraid when he got on Bill's bike and they were on the road, afraid when he saw that crazy Bowers run towards him, afraid of the werewolf in the movie. He was afraid of all those things, but he could still live with it.  
  
But the fear that Eddie knew...  
  
He looked up for the first time, realizing he had reached the bridge of kisses and took a long breath.  
  


\- I guess it's a way to drop it. - he said to himself aloud, while he took out an old dirty knife that his father had given him on one of his birthdays, and had found some time ago in his room. He looked at the wood of the bridge. So many engraved names, so many boys and girls in love, he would be another desperate fool over there.

He snorted openly the old knife and began to gently carve the bark.  
His heart was jumping furiously in his chest and his lungs were beginning to feel that the air was not enough to survive, he had never felt so much fear and anxiety since the moment Eddie had approached to clean his glasses without warning. What would happen if someone saw him carving his name on the bridge of kisses? Richie denied, he just needed to do this quickly, he needed to do this, he didn't know how to carve his ridiculous name and Eddie's on a piece of crap wood from an old bridge was going to help him, but he knew he needed it.

  
Calligraphy was not his strong point, but he had to admit that he had not looked so bad either. It was written "R + E", in a letter as readable as possible, so he felt satisfied.  
  
His heart had calmed his excited beats and his chest was starting to feel less tight, letting out a sigh of relief.  
  


\- Do you know that wood has toxic fungi?

Richie jumped and all the relief he had felt seconds ago had quickly turned into what appeared to be a kind of panic attack. He turned quickly, trying his best to cover what was written with his back while he saw Eddie with a look that tried to seem unconcerned, but it was the weirdest face he had ever made, or so Eddie thought.

\- What are you hiding, Trashmouth? - Said the little one, amused, approaching where his friend was.

\- Nothing, Eds. I don't have a shit to hide. - He lied trying to sound casual. - Weren't you going to buy shoes with your mom?

\- Do you like? - He said looking down while Richie imitated him. They were simple, red and small shoes.

\- They could have been worse. - He replied funny.

Eddie rolled his eyes and continued to approach Richie slowly, feeling like the taller one tensed every time he took a step. Eddie was being slightly aware of the situation; the bridge of kisses, Richie with a razor in his hand, Richie hiding something, Richie openly nervous for the first time in his life.  
You didn't have to be a genius to realize what was going on, Eddie thought.

\- Who? - Eddie asked kneeling once he reached his side.

\- Who is what, idiot? - Asked disregarding.

\- The lucky one, Rich. The girl you like - Said directly trying not to sound desperate.

Richie looked him in the eye, trying to assimilate what he had said or thinking an ingenious answer, you can expect anything from Richie Tozier.

\- Do you think that the person I like will be lucky? - spit out funny, letting out a laugh at the end of the sentence.  
Eddie looked at him incredulously, but Richie's laugh was too contagious to not laugh too. They were like this for a few seconds, until the little boy realized that tears were falling down his friend's cheeks and he panicked.

\- Ri-Richie? Are you okay? - he asked putting his hands on his friend's shoulders.

He nodded as he quickly wiped his cheek trying to dry all liquid from his eyes, but tears kept falling and he had no choice but to laugh and lie.

\- I think I have shit in my eye, it's nothing, Eddie.

Eddie frowned. - No one can cry so much for something in the eye, son of a bitch. - He said while pulling Richie's body to wrap him in a hug and hide him. He knew that his shirt would be filled with tears, his body would be filled with liquids external to his and most likely he has as many germs as the floor of a fast-food place. But he didn't care.

Eddie stroked Richie's unruly hair that was hiding in his chest, patting his back and hissing silently, believing that crying would calm down. While Richie crouched in front of him, he managed to see on his back the piece of wood he had been carving with such concentration until he arrived.

He smiled slightly and hugged his friend harder. - Has it already left your eye? - he asked in a whisper.

Richie Tozier lifted his head from Eddie's chest, wiped his tears a second time and nodded.

\- Yes, it was huge. - He said to add smiling: - Like my dick.

\- We can say you had a dick in your eye.

\- As I put it to your mom.

He rolled his eyes, and rose from his place, helping Richie. - Come on, I have to change my shirt, you left me disgusting.

\- Aren't you always? - He replied with a smile, but he felt too small under Eddie's affectionate gaze.

\- Am I, Richie?

Richie opened his mouth but didn't answer.  
And that was all Eddie needed to confirm his suspicions, after all, Richie Tozier never ran out of anything to say.


	2. spin the bottle

\- I-I don't think i-it's a good idea. - Bill said staring at an excited Richie.

\- Come on, I don't feel like going home early today, we need to occupy that clubhouse before it collapses! - He insisted with a pout and a pleading look.

Bill let out a tired sigh, he couldn't say no to his friend when he insisted so strongly. - Okay, but you buy sna-sna...-

\- Snacks, got em, friend. - He completed the word while putting an arm on his shoulder and smiled, infecting Bill with the smile. - We need to go and tell the boys.

He nodded as he climbed on Silver. - Ge-get on then, Rich.

Richie obeyed right away, running his legs over the bright bike and sitting on the back of her. Bill, feeling his friend settle down, whispered a small “hold on” and began pedaling quickly.

\- Slower, Big Bill! - Richie said, holding his back forcefully.

He only received a light laugh in response, feeling awkward for not having enough balance to let go of his friend. Bill's back was large, had broad shoulders and looked more masculine than the rest of his friends. Bill was handsome, that was something everyone knew, but he had never been attracted to him or not enough to notice. Not how it was with Eddie.

\- I-Is everything o-okay there, friend? - Asked the pilot of the bicycle, turning his face slightly towards him.

\- I'm going to get the shit out if I let you go, does this look good for you? - He replied as he accentuated his grip on Bill's waist. They were like that to the store, where at the first stop, Richie quickly let go of his friend's grip with his cheeks burning. Bill looked at him entertainingly, but said nothing about it and parked his bright bicycle next to the nearest wall.

\- Chips and soda? - Richie said fixing a hand through her hair, walking towards the store with Bill behind her.

\- I-I want some oreo. - He replied happily.

\- Some oreo will be, Big Bill. - He added smiling as he entered through the large glass door, next to his friend.

It was a simple store, with aisles full of packed food and dirty floors. They approached the candy section, where Richie took out five bags of chips while Bill took out his two Oreo cookies with a smile on his face. They went together to the high fridge where they took out two different sodas and approached the counter, where a man with a mustache and large muscles was reading the newspaper.

Richie couldn't help seeing his arms, stupidly.

Bill cleared his throat, drawing the man's attention, as he was approaching at Richie with a look that said to him to put things on the counter.

\- Good afternoon, guys. - replied the man leaving his reading aside and putting his attention on food. - Do you have a party or something?

\- Ju-just a reunion. - Bill said.

The man looked at Richie, and he froze for a moment. - Yes, we'll watch a movie or something.

\- I see. - The man said as he passed the food through the cash register. - It will be $ 5.83.

\- And can I have some cigarettes too? - Richie asked, taking money from his pocket.

\- I shouldn't sell cigarettes to a child as cute as you. - said the man, causing Richie to throw some coins on the ground that were rescued by Bill in a matter of seconds. - Just kidding, son, take. Then it will be 6.86.

The man wrapped things in a small paper bag that was received by Bill, who looked inside with great enthusiasm, while Richie paid quickly trying not to touch the seller's hand.

\- Thank you. - The two children said in unison as they left the store.

The children stared for a moment before getting on Silver. Richie was carrying the bag in his arms, grabbing Bill's shirt with his fingers, but he pedaled slowly, going along the desolate road without accelerating.

\- E-everything is fi-fine?, Rich? - Bill asked without looking back.  
  
\- Of course, Big B.

There was a silence between them until Bill released what Richie didn't want to hear.

\- The-there are many homo-homosexuals here in De-Derry.

\- Oh yeah? - He answered without energy. He felt too exposed at the time, although he knew that this was not his friend's purpose. Richie had known Bill for a long time, incredible moments had passed, and they knew each other very well. He had been one of the few people who had seen him cry in his life, and losing him would be the biggest shit in the world.  
That's why he was afraid of what he was talking about, he didn't want Bill to hate him.

\- Y-Yes, my father says they go to the bars. My father doesn't like them.  
  
He didn't answer, he didn't want to know what he meant by this conversation.

\- But not to me. - Bill added.

Richie let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding and held on to his friend more. He did not stutter.

\- That's because you're special, Big B. - He said funny.

\- He-hey, what do you mean? - He answered trying to sound annoying, but the laughter at the end of the sentence had betrayed him.

They went together throughout the city to tell Ben, Mike, Stan, Beverly, and Eddie that they were cordially invited to the first recreational afternoon with fries and soda in the clubhouse, receiving affirmative answers from each and that they would be there at five.

After distributing the invitation with their friends, both with nothing else to do, they waited together in the clubhouse, sitting on the floor reading comic and eating Bill's Oreos for a long time, until they heard noises and saw feet that began to go down the stairs.

\- Hey, Bev. - Bill said quickly. - Di-did anyone else co-come?

Richie laughed loudly, giving a funny look to his friend who frowned, not understanding.

\- How did you know it was Bev's legs? - He whispered below the comic he had in his hands, telling his friend that he also laughed.

\- The boys are coming, they went to look for some things. - He replied with a smile on his face. - And why do you look so happy?  
  
Both shook their heads and invited Beverly to sit down and read something while the boys did not arrive.

\- I have cigarettes, Bev. want one? - Richie asked looking away from his comic and reaching into his shirt pocket.

\- I'd kill for one, Rich. - He said stretching his left hand and receiving the cigar from Richie, who also took out a lighter, lit it for Beverly, and then for his.

They both took a big bite, letting the tobacco enter through their windpipe and attack their lungs, while the nicotine calmed every part of their body and released the smoke.

\- I didn't know this shit was anonymous smokers. - Eddie said going down the stairs slowly, holding on to every surface he could find.

\- Eddie Spaghetti! - Richie replied cheerfully while passing the cigar to Bill, who did not smoke very often, but today would be the exception. Richie felt guilty when he smoked in the presence of the little one, even if he told him he didn't care.

\- Hi, Richie. - He answered with a frown and a tight voice. While sitting between the two boys, in front of Beverly.

The other boys soon arrived at the little secret house with more food and a couple of games in their hands. They had sat in a circle, side by side, while talking about incoherence that they found hilarious at their young age and ate junk food, food that Eddie knew the ingredients and calories by heart. They were like this for a long time, until the ideas of games had been limited and the desire to do something had emerged.

\- Let's play with this. - Ben suggested that he had a lid on some bottle of all the sodas they had drunk. - We can compete in who throws it further.  
  
\- Good idea, Ben, but it's crap. - Richie said patting her shoulder. - I'm sorry, my friend.

Beverly, who finished taking her bottle of Coca-Cola, raised her hand. - What if we play truth or dare with the bottle? I've seen many people play it, I've never tried. - He said with a slight air of sadness, causing immediate acceptance among all the boys.  
  
The bottle was deposited on the ground and they made stone, paper, and scissors for whom it would spin, winning Mike. The bottle spun, turned and kept turning until it stopped in the direction of Stan, who had a look too serious on his face.

\- Staan! - they all shouted in unison with enthusiasm.

\- Truth or dare, Stan? - Mike said funny.

\- True. - he answered sure of himself.

\- Have you ever practiced kissing with a mirror? - Asked receiving scandalous noises from all the other boys.  
  
Stan seemed to think about it a bit, and then looked embarrassed at the floor of the dirty house. - Yes.

Everyone present burst out laughing, grabbing his stomach with euphoria and his eyes became small.

\- Okay, Stan. We have all done it. - Richie said trying to calm her breath.  
  
\- Not me, it's disgusting. - Eddie added.

\- Eddie practices with my dick. - He replied amused, receiving a blow to the neck and an indignant look.

Stan thanked the support and prepared to turn the bottle, falling this time on Bill.  
Everyone was silent, nobody had absolutely nothing to ask.

\- Uh, do your feet smell so much? - Stan asked uncertainly, earning more laughter of all.

\- N-no, not very much. - Bill replied amused, who had already taken the bottle and started to spin it, falling on Eddie. - Tru-truth or dare?

\- True.

\- What is the most useless kn-knowledge you have?  
  
\- Everything. - Richie replied amused.  
  
\- Semen has antidepressant effects. - He said ashamed.  
  
\- That's why your mom is so hap-  
  
\- Beep beep, Richie. - Beverly interrupted smiling.  
  
Eddie spun the bottle awkwardly, falling in Beverly. - Have you ever peed in a pool? - He said quickly without thinking or asking if she wanted truth or a dare.

\- Looks like he had the question saved a long time ago. - Mike said funny.

\- Yes, I'm sorry Eddie, I was with you at that time. - He replied amused to see the expression of terror on Eddie's face, as he turned the bottle, falling on Richie.

\- Richie Tozier. - said the girl. - Truth or Dare?

\- True, I guess. - He replied with a fear that he didn't know he had.

\- What is your biggest fear? - she asked.

Richie seemed to think about it a bit, then remembered the lie he had said when everyone was telling what had happened to Pennywise. - The clowns.

\- Are really the clowns? - Eddie asked curiously.

He nodded quickly, lying. - Uh, yes. But I'm afraid to your mom will leave me too, but who could leave this man? - He added earning a few laughs from the boys.

The afternoon went on like this, wondering things they already knew about each other and laughing at the answers, even if they were not funny at all. After a while, Richie was in the hammock reading a comic of Superman, under the watchful eye of Eddie, who moved his fingers anxiously, counting the seconds.

\- That's it, your time has passed, Richie! - Eddie shouted approaching the hammock while calling everyone's attention.

\- Shit, Eds. - Richie said with a pout. - Why do you take away everything I love?

\- I don't give a fuck, Rich. Ten minutes is ten minutes. - He answered crossing his arms in front of him.

Richie ignored him, believing that spending enough time the little one would give up and end up going to sit somewhere else in the small clubhouse. It was not so. Less than a minute passed and Eddie was yelling at him how immature he was, while he took off his shoes and climbed into the hammock next to Richie.

\- Fuck, Eds. If it breaks I will not save your ass. - Said funny moving the leg of the little boy who was on his stomach, feeling an electric shock full of cravings.

\- If it breaks it will be your fault for not obeying the rules. - He answered with his arms crossed, looking at Richie with a frown.

\- Whatever you say, honey. - He whispered looking back at his comic, ignoring that the love of his life was inches from him, with his legs on either side of his body. Richie shook his head quickly, earning a curious look from Eddie.

\- All good? - he asked. - Aren't you going to have a cardiovascular attack?

\- Yeah, only the glasses bother me. I can't see your cute face. - He lied quickly without looking at Eddie's face.

The little boy approached slightly over Richie and tore the dirty lenses from his face. - God, Richie! Of course, they will bother you, look how dirty this shit is.

\- I don't have something to clean them up with, Eds. - He replied amused and with the heart about to escape from his chest.

\- I'll have to sacrifice your shirt. - Said the little boy taking a corner of Richie's shirt, brushing his stomach while cleaning his glasses. It was like that for a minute, then to make sure they had been clean enough to give them back to Richie, who was looking at him dumbly.

\- I have to admit that you look more handsome without glasses. - Eddie said putting the glasses back on Richie's face.

\- You too. - He replied amused, earning light kicks on the stomach.

All the boys thought the same thing while watching and listening to both of them discussing the hammock.  
_"That is Love? If so, I want it.”_


	3. homework afternoon

It was one of the coldest Mondays that Derry had, although, after all, it was understandable, it was only half-past six in the morning, and he was on the street with nothing but a sweatshirt to warm it, knocking on the door repeatedly waiting for someone to He will deign to open the door. About a minute or two of incessant knocks passed on his part when the door opened revealing the obese lady with a frown and eyes full of hate.  
  
\- What do you want? - asked Sonia Kaspbrak. - Eddie can't go out.

-I know, Mrs. K. It's just that it's the first day of school, and I was thinking of going together, so he wouldn't arrive alone. - He replied in the sweetest way his body could afford it.  
  
Mrs. Kaspbrak seemed to think about it for a moment as she analyzed Richie with her eyes. He was aware that Eddie's mother was too busy doing the shit he did, so he couldn't go leave his son to school in that ugly car that Eddie was afraid of. There were no excuses, she had no other way, and he had everything coldly calculated.

\- Alright. - She said to close the door again in Richie's face and shout at his son.

Even with the door closed in front of his face, Richie listened with luxury and detail to everything they talked in there. Eddie told his mother that he was almost ready, he would be putting on his shoes, and his mother yelled at him to be careful, that he didn't trust that Richie Tozier. But it was better than letting his beloved son walk alone on such a cold and desolate morning, giving everyone a chance to do something wrong. Richie sighed, Eddie's mother was great shit, for something Eddie was so scared of everything.

After a few seconds, the door opened revealing this time the little boy with a sweater that was badly worn, and his face full of discomfort and sleep.

\- You should wear something else, it's pretty cold out here and I don't want to warm your ass if it freezes you. - Richie said funny.

\- You're going to warm it, believe me. - Eddie replied about to close the door behind him.

\- Eddie, don't you forget something?! - His mother's voice was heard saying from some room inside the house as if it were a spectrum.

\- Wait for me just a second. - Eddie said with a sigh full of frustration, entering his home again, disappearing a few seconds to kiss his mother on the cheek and then leave as quickly as he could, closing the door behind him.

\- I feel jealous, your mother receives your kisses every day. - Richie commented looking at the little boy, tilting his lips. - I also want one.  
  
The little boy went down the three steps of the entrance of his house and frowned once down the stair. - I'm not going to kiss you, Richie. - He answered in a whisper, passing by him and starting to walk together.

\- Wait a second. - said the tallest taking his arm to stop. Eddie looked at him curiously with slightly flushed cheeks, obeying, Richie adjusted his sweater that was tilted more to the left, making him look smaller. - That's it, awkward shit.

\- Thanks, but, I'm not going to kiss you yet. - He replied walking back with Richie at his side.  
  
\- Why not? You kiss your mother, and I kiss her all the time. Is not the same? - He asks funny.

\- Are you talking about a kind of indirect kiss?

Richie nodded, looking at the little boy sideways, attentive to his reactions.

\- No, there could not be a kind of indirect kiss between us and my mother. - He said shaking his head gently.

\- And why not, little genius?

\- Too many germs, and there would be no contact. - Said determinedly. - I think the definition of a kiss is more for the contact, Rich.

Richie continued to watch him out of the corner of his eye, he was focused on something he couldn't decipher, so he simply nodded and kept quiet, brushing his hand with Eddie's. Eddie, aware of Richie's hand inches from his and impatient for more contact, moved his hand the same way that he had, but had used too much force and ended up hitting him.

\- What the fuck, Eds? - asked funny hitting him back.

\- Shut up, moron. - said hitting him back slightly and turning his eyes to the opposite side of Richie, with shame.

He moved closer to the little one (if that could be possible), wrapping an arm around his shoulder, trying to look like one of his most flirtatious voices and watching him blatantly..

\- Why so thoughtful, Eds?

Eddie turned slightly toward Richie and looked at him doubtfully.

\- Would you really kiss me? - He asked quickly with his cheeks becoming increasingly red. There was no sign of mockery on his face, rather, there was nothing but the truth on his face and this scared Richie too much, who simply nodded in reflex, realizing this.

\- I-I mean, I guess, depends, although, it would give me a toothache with how sweet you are. - he said releasing Eddie's shoulders, seeing him with the simplest look he could, trying to hide the nervousness and truth behind his words.

Eddie looked at him for a few seconds, and then began to laugh loudly, covering his mouth, it was a strange habit he had been having a while ago.

\- You're an idiot. - The little one answered pushing it lightly.

\- Richie, Eddie! - They heard a voice behind him shouting their names.  
  


They both turned quickly, watching Stan walk quickly towards them.

\- Hey, my man. - Richie said approaching with open arms towards his friend, who was panting with fatigue.

\- Shit, guys. I had to walk alone all the way here. - He said trying to calm his breathing and accepting the awkward hug Richie was giving him, patting his back.

\- I'm sorry, Stan. - Eddie said funny.

Stan stared at him with a lost look and smiled slightly. - You two look in a good mood today.

The three losers walked towards the school together, while laughing shamelessly at the very bad impressions of Richie, who was enjoying the company of his friends. But this would not change the fact that inside him a great sense of guilt was burning his insides, scraping his throat, threatening to destroy everything.

  
  
  
  
  


Classes were the most normal shit they could have had in a long time, Richie spent most of the class drawing, while Stan who sat a position later listened carefully to everything the teacher said, had found his new love of the year.

All the losers were in the school hall, keeping their things in the dirty red lockers. Another year had begun in Derry's school crap, and everyone was fed up with it. Richie and Stan approached Bill Denbrough's locker together, who clumsily kept their notebooks and books.  
  
\- Hey, do you need help? - Richie asked helping him immediately, holding the backpack that slipped from his hands.  
  
\- Th-thank you, Richie. - He answered with a look full of love.  
  
\- How about the first day, Bill? - Stan asked standing next to the locker.  
  
\- I wa-want to go t-to shit. - He said amused, earning a laugh from Richie.  
  
\- We all think the same, Big Bill.  
  
Bill finished putting his things in the locker, and Richie returned his backpack without first being thankful for his friend. The three children walked to their next victim, a victim trying to open his locker with a handkerchief between his fingers.

\- Let me do that for you, little shit. - Richie said putting his hand on top of Eddie's locker and dialing the combination of correct numbers for it to open. - Voila.

\- How do you know my combination, stalker? - He replied amused while saving his things.

\- We co-could go to pla-play the barrens today. - was heard saying behind them.

I don't think we can, the first day of school, parents go crazy. - Stan replied to Bill. - We could go play somewhere.

\- The a-arcade room where Ri-Richie plays.

He gave a small shock that did not go unnoticed by Eddie, who closed his locker with the handkerchief still in hand.

\- I planned to kidnap Richie. - Eddie said, receiving a strange look from everyone present, including Richie.

\- Excuse me, honey, did you want to do what with me? - Richie asked rising with his glasses with his index finger before they slipped down his nose.

\- I wanted to ask you for help with a biology task. - Eddie added with annoyance. - You're good for shits like that, even if you're disgusting.

Richie nodded happily and put an arm around the boy's shoulder. - You heard, my little one needs me, don't count on us.

\- Don't count on you for what? - Ben asked who had just arrived, standing next to Stan. - Hello guys.

\- Hey Ben, w-we had planned to go to the arcade hall. - Bill said to Ben. - But Eddie has a bi-biology assignment and he took Richie from us.

\- I didn't know that Richie was good at biology. - replied impressed Ben.

\- He has almost the best grades in the class. - Stan said annoyed. - and it's bullshit, I don't understand how he does it.

Bill burst out laughing, infecting everyone present.  
  
  
  


The boys went to Beverly to ask if she wanted to spend the afternoon playing with them in the arcade room, but the little girl had denied the invitation saying she should be home early with her aunt. So the children separated outside the school, the three of them going to look for Mike and the other two, on their way to Richie's house to do Eddie's biology homework.

Once outside the house, Richie opened the door letting the little one in, without shouting a "Mom, I'm here and Eddie is with me!" And close the door behind him.

\- Go up, I'm going in a second. - Richie said walking to the kitchen, leaving Eddie alone at the entrance of the house, not knowing what to do but look at the pictures of a Richie too cute to be a current photo and slowly walked towards the stairs.

\- Mom, do you have anything to eat? - Richie asked entering the kitchen, where his mother drank tea while reading a book with a title too confusing for her to read.

\- I still don't make lunch, but you can get some cookies. He said without looking up. - Who did you say was coming with you?

\- Eddie, mom. - He answered putting his head in the cupboard, looking for cookies.

\- I see. - He demonstrated in a discouraged voice. - I thought it was a girl.

His mother was making comments like that lately, he was asking when he would find a girl he liked or that it was time to get some good lady's attention. Richie did not hate his mother, he knew that she had preferred to have a daughter who wore dresses, to teach her how to cook and knit, and he when he was very young, had offered to do all these things to calm the feeling of guilt. But he had received nothing but a punishment for having interested in things that women should do.

\- I don't think the first place I would bring a woman is my own house, mom. - He answered trying to sound funny while leaving the kitchen. - Don't be mean to Eddie.

\- Of course not, honey. - Said a little more lively.

Richie came out of the kitchen with a heavy sigh, and doubled to the left, climbing the stairs at a slow pace. He had begun to feel disgusting again, lying to his mother as if he were ever going to arrive with a woman when he knew he would never be able.

\- Hey, where are you going? - He heard say on his back. - Your room is over here.

Eddie saw him amused from the door of his room. He had not realized that he had climbed the stairs and walked to his father's office at the end of the hall.

\- Fuck, I got lost. - He said amused causing Eddie a small laugh, as he turned in the direction of his room.

\- You dumbass. - Eddie whispered once Richie passed by him, entering the cozy room. - I close the door?

\- Please, Eds. - He said throwing himself on his bed and leaving his backpack on the floor, while the little boy closed the door slowly and sat next to him. - I brought you cookies, they have almost no sugar, you're not going to die from diabetes.

\- Thank you, but I'm going to die of diabetes in the same way. - He replied funny. - I'm so sweet that I give you a toothache.

\- Shut up, little shit. - He said amusingly pushing him slightly to start a fight so that he would have the excuse of touching it as many times as he wanted.

\- Don't push me, idiot. - He replied by hitting him lightly on the forehead with his small palm.

\- Did you just hit me, Eddie Spaghetti? - He rejoined, sitting next to him and looking at him with a serious feigned look.

\- Yes, what are you going to do about it? - asked funny.

Richie without answering took one of his pillows on his left and clumsily hit Eddie's face, who laughed and threw himself on top of him, trying to take the pillow from his hands. There was a struggle for a couple of minutes, filling the room with laughter from both children.  
When Richie pushed Eddie, leaving him on his back on the bed and stood on top of him, leaving him without mobility.

\- You're dead, Eds. - He said leaving the pillow aside and starting a tickle attack on his stomach.  
  
Eddie moved his legs trying to get Richie off him while laughing uncontrollably, the taller one attacking his ribs, stomach, and armpits mercilessly, laughing along with Eddie.  
  


\- I ca-can't bre-breathe, Ri-Rich! - Eddie gasped putting his hands around Richie's shoulders, causing a blush in him, who quickly separated to let the little boy breathe.

\- Shit, your asthma! - Richie said once he separated. - Do you need anything? Where is your inhaler?

Eddie shook his head with slight spasms with laughter and calmed his breathing. - I'm fine, Rich. - He replied once more calmly, sitting on the bed.

\- Hell, you scared me, I had forgotten. - He confessed with a sigh and getting out of bed.

Eddie let out a small laugh. - You wanted to kill me, you fucking idiot.

They looked at each other with a smile for a minute that lasted seconds for them, when Richie reacted and gave applause from nowhere, because of his nerves. - Alright, your biology homework!

The little boy stretched out his hand toward the backpack he had left on the floor next to Richie's bed and pulled out a notebook, opening it on his legs.  
\- It's only about plants, nothing that interests you too much.

\- I'll see if I'm interested or not. - He said sitting next to him, glancing at the notebook, distracting himself with his small hands on the edge of the sheets.  
  
  


They spent the next hour researching the plants that came out in Eddie's notebook, having a small break to eat cookies (or rather, fight for them) and return to their homework, when Richie's mother shouted that lunch was ready.  
Eddie closed his notebook, putting it in his backpack and got out of bed.

\- Thanks for helping me, Richie.  
  
\- It's nothing, Spaghetti. - He answered getting up, imitating the little one. - Are you staying for lunch?  
  
\- I do not think so. - He answered in a whisper being taken down the stairs. Eddie didn't want to admit to Richie that he had listened to the little conversation he had with his mother a while ago, not that they had talked about something too deep and private, but the hostility in the words made Eddie feel uncomfortable.  
  
They passed outside the kitchen, where Richie's mother was serving three plates of lasagna on the small round table in the kitchen.  
  
\- You can say no, it doesn't matter if your part has already served. - Richie whispered before entering the kitchen. - It smells delicious, my lady!

Maggie Tozier let out a slight laugh at her son's comment and looked at the little boy behind him. - Are you staying for lunch, Eddie?

\- Sure, Mrs. Tozier. - Kindly replied while sitting at the table next to Richie, who was looking at him with a frown.

\- It's so nice to see you here again. - said the lady sitting in front of him, lightly hitting her son, who had taken the fork to take a bite. - First, we need to thank.

Eddie felt Richie sigh. Richie's family was very religious, and Richie was also sometimes while they were little. Eddie remembered hearing him say that, if the Bible said there were fish with three eyes, there were fish with three eyes, because there he said it. But at some point, Richie stopped thinking this, and so too, he stopped believing it.

Mrs. Tozier took her son's hand on the table and then Eddie's, staring at Richie until he shook Eddie's hand and closed his eyes.

\- Bless us, Lord, and bless our food. Bless also those who have prepared them for us, and give bread to those who do not. Because you feed me, thank you very much, Lord. Amen. - He said releasing the hands of the little ones and opening his eyes.

\- Amen. - Eddie repeated although he did not consider himself religious enough to bless the food.

\- Yes. - Richie whispered reluctantly, taking a big bite to his mother's food.

Eddie quickly imitated his friend, while the mother saw them with a slight smile full of discomfort. Lunch ended as fast as it began, Richie had drowned eating as fast as he could to get out of that situation soon and Eddie was not far behind, thanking for the food and leaving behind Richie until he climbed back into his room.

\- Shit, my mom is so fucking awkward. - He said closing the door once they had entered.

\- At least it didn't make you wash your hands three times before touching the fork. - He replied amused as he grabs the backpack from the floor. - I'm leaving, Rich.

\- Yes, I'll leave you at the door.

\- It is not necessary, lock yourself in your room. You are not going to want your mom to make you bless something else.

\- I'd let him make me bless any shit if it's for you. - He answered without thinking, opening the door to the room.

Eddie let out a small nervous laugh and went down the stairs with Richie on his heels, passed through the kitchen where Mrs. Maggie Tozier was washing the dishes they had used a few minutes ago, Eddie felt guilty.

\- See you soon, Mrs. Tozier! - Eddie said from the door.

\- Come back soon, Eddie. - He answered turning his head slightly while still scrubbing the dishes.

\- Go, go. - Richie said putting his hands on Eddie's waist pushing him forward, forcing him to walk towards the door, where he opened politely to leave as quickly as possible from his home.  
  
\- Again, thank you very much, Richie. - Eddie said turning to say goodbye.  
  
\- Yes, it's nothing, Eds. - Answered hypnotized by the lips of the child, bitten and dry. Eddie stared at him for a few seconds, when something came out of his mouth that he regretted saying.  
  
\- Do you want to kiss me? - whispered the little one.

Richie looked surprised, but quickly his expression changed to a full of panic and fear, and then let out a nervous laugh.

\- Don't say those things in front of my door. - he whispered back with the most melancholy smile Eddie had seen in his short life. - See you tomorrow, Eds.

\- You will come for me tomorrow? - Asked with fear, thinking that he had broken something in his friendship, but Richie calmed him with a smile, as he always does.

\- You can't live without me? - He said funny. - I'll be there.

\- See you tomorrow then, idiot. - He smiled and turned slowly to walk through Richie's front garden.

Richie smiled awkwardly and closed the door, then walked as fast as he could to his room. He didn't want to hear what his mother wanted to say.

  



	4. sick

Richie was in his bed, reading a book he found on the old bedside table he had had since he was born. It was two in the afternoon, at this time all the children in the small town should be leaving school, full of energy and wanting to go out to play, but Richie was sick to do what all the children do.  
Last night Richie didn't sleep, he couldn't close his eyes for anything but blink a few times and let the tears fall from his irritated eyes. Last night he had shed liters and liters of tears of guilt, and no one seemed to have noticed, he wondered if he could disappear with the same ease. Fear flooded him and pulled those thoughts from his delicate head.

Due to the desperate cry of the night, he now had a fever and his mother had worried about him all morning, so his mood had risen quite a lot of thanks to the care he was receiving.

He closed the book carefully, without first putting a small wrapper that he had on the little table on the page to not forget where his reading had been. He put his glasses lazily aside and turned on the bed to try to sleep a little more when he felt his mother go up the stairs and knock on her door three times.

\- Richie, darling? - asked his mother, opening the door of her room slightly. - You have company.

He stirred in his bed and growled in affirmation.

\- If he needs anything let me know. - He heard his mother whisper to the guest.

\- Sure, don't worry. - answered a mature and annoying voice, closing the door.

Of all the losers had to come, Stanley Uris, the only sentimental and mature person who would be able to take out each of his secrets in less than a minute.

\- How do you feel, Richie? - asked the voice getting closer and closer.

\- Wonderful. - replied hidden between the blankets.

He felt his friend's weight submerge the mattress at his feet.

\- You sound disgusting. - He admitted throwing his back at the foot of Richie's bed. - Today we had a math test.

\- Good thing I didn't go, I didn't study. - commented funny.

\- Yes, it was like shit to me. - He said funny. - Also, the little one of David laughed so hard at lunch that milk leaked from his nose.

Richie let out a light laugh, pulling his head out of the blankets, while slowly sitting on the bed. - Shit, I'd love to see that.

\- I know. - He turned his head to see his friend. - You have red eyes.

\- Yeah, do they look bad?

\- A bit. - He said sitting on the bed while taking off his shoes. - Let me see you well.

\- Don't come near me, moron. He laughed lightly as he watched Stan crawl to his side and lay between the blankets next to him.

\- They look very bad. - He admitted with a look full of concern. - Why do you suffer so much, Richie?

Those words were enough to bring tears back down Richie's face, who simply denied and raised his shoulders without knowing what to do. He felt the need to hide and raised his legs, until he touched his stomach with his knees and with his arms he hugged his legs, hiding his head.

\- Hey, I'm sorry. - Stan whispered, returning to his side and hugging him gently. - I did not want to.

Richie wanted to answer that it was not his fault, that he felt very good and did not know why he was acting like this, but nothing came out but sobs and this made him more desperate and forced him to cry harder.

Stan held him in silence, letting him calm down, without pressing him when Richie lifted his head between his legs, showing his face made a mess and smiled sadly.

\- Thank you. - He answered in a whisper. - This is disgusting, at this rate everyone in Derry will end up seeing me crying.

\- Who else has seen you that gross? - Asked trying to sound fun.

\- A couple of weeks ago Eddie saw me cry on the bridge of kisses. - he admitted with fear.

\- And what were you doing on the bridge of kisses?

Richie did not answer, he did not feel like lying and less to Stan, who seemed to quickly understand.

\- How did Eddie act? - said. Richie had just realized that Stan was stroking his hair. - Eddie is awkward for situations like that.

\- Yes, but he just hugged me, that awkward shit. - Answered fun. - He's a great boy.

\- It is.

Richie tilted his body to his right, dropping onto Stan's body, who wrapped him in a hug too protective to come from him, and they were like that, silently, for too long. Richie had already closed his eyes instinctively, getting carried away by the caresses of his friend who was looking somewhere in the room, thoughtfully.

\- It's fine, Richie. - he whispered after a while. - Everything will be fine.

  
  
  


Richie woke up after a couple of hours in his bed, disoriented and warm. He sat down and stretched out his arms lazily, taking his lenses from the small piece of furniture and putting them on his snub nose, managing to look at the clock that struck four o'clock.

Stan was gone a while ago, without saying goodbye to him while he fell asleep and stroked his hair for the last time. Richie was more than grateful to him, he was one of the most mature, kind and intelligent people he knew and was proud to be friends with someone like him.

He sat on his bed, blankets covering his shoulders and watching the clock hands spin around, wasting his sense of time while thinking about the previous conversation and everything that led to it, feeling loved and ashamed at the same time.

\- You knock on the door! - He heard himself say in a whisper on the other side of his door.

\- N-no, you knock on the door.

He lifted his head from the clock and smiled, rising from his bed, leaving all his thoughts aside, approaching the door and giving two taps on it.

\- So-someone knock. - Bill said on the other side of the door, you could hear the smile on his face.

He knocks twice more.

\- Yes? What's going on? - Eddie shouted amused.

\- Hello, could you open the door, please? - He said with a smile on his face as the door opened slowly revealing his two friends. - You two are very kind, thank you very much.

\- Get on the bed, idiot. - Eddie answered quickly, pushing him slightly towards the bed.

\- I didn't know you were so desperate, Eds. - He commented amused as he climbed back into bed, sitting between the cushions and the blankets.

\- How do you feel, Ri-Richie? - Bill asked sitting at the foot of Richie's bed.

\- Maybe this is my last day alive. - He said looking at Eddie from the corner of his eye. - What are you looking for, Eds?

The boy did not take his eyes off the furniture full of albums, books, and comics, running his fingers gently over the covers. - Just watching your shit.  
\- Be-ben was also coming to say hello but has a history task. - He said taking a breath for a second. - You know how it gets with history.

Richie nodded. - And you, brats, how was school?

\- I had to play the flute in music. - Eddie said taking a book in his hands.- You have experience playing flutes.

\- You have experience with flutes.

Eddie turned to roll his eyes and lifting his middle finger, captivating Richie's heart.

\- I ha-have to make a da-damn speech for the class. - He answered with a frown, emphasizing he didn't want to.

\- But Big Bill, you're amazing with those things. - He said stretching his body until he touched his friend's shoulder. - You have a gift, my friend.

Bill looked at him for a second and let out a light laugh. - Thank you, Rich.

\- Hey, Richie. What is this? - Eddie asked showing a book with a clear cover, where he showed a man with a white mask.

Richie leaned down to see more clearly until he felt his body freeze.  
That book had been bought in secret a few months ago, it was a novel about a teenager who discovered his homosexual inclinations in the 50s. He had bought it in the hope of understanding what was going on with him and somehow, looking for the opportunity to stop being like that.

\- Uhm, it's a book. - he answered uncertainly. - I don't remember why I bought it.

Richie settled back in his place, looking at Bill who had noticed the insecurity in his voice, face and technically all around him.

\- It looks cool. - Eddie said leafing it shamelessly. - Can I borrow it?

Richie swallowed.

\- Bu-but that book I had asked for it be-before. - Bill answered looking at Richie.

\- Ow fuck, Bill, you're always one step ahead of me. - grumbled Eddie. - Then lend me some music, Rich! I get bored at home a lot. - He adds for the last time leaving the book in its place and causing Richie to release a sigh full of tranquility.

\- Take out the album you want, Eds. - He said pulling all his weight back and falling on his back between the cushions, without first giving Bill a grateful look.

Although Bill did not understand how he had helped his friend.

An hour full of awkward and incoherent conversations passed between the little ones, sitting at the foot of Richie's bed when the father entered with sandwiches.

\- Edward, William, I had no idea you were here. - Said the father surprised. - I'll have to go down and go make more sandwiches.  
  
Richie let out a light laugh when he heard the names of his friends, sometimes he forgot the names so common they all had in that little shit town.  
The man closed the door as quickly as he opened it and disappeared, leaving the children confused.

\- What the fuck are you laughing at, Richard? - Eddie replied trying to sound annoying, but he couldn't help hiding the smile on his face.

This time it was Bill who laughed, earning a look full of guilt from his friends.

\- William, please, I thought you were my friend. - Richie said with a hand in his heart. - I'm hurt.

\- I'm so-sorry, Richard. - He replied, laughing again.

\- And he keeps laughing, Edward, tell him something!

\- William, we all know that the name Richard is funny, but we have to have respect for our partner. - He said putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

\- A partner who is sick in bed, Edward, do not forget. - He commented dramatically in his voice.

\- Yes, William, please.

Bill could not stop laughing at the stupid comments of his friends and simply nodded in a way too clumsy for the eyes of the two children, who were also infected by laughter.  
The father opened the door again, seeing three children crying with laughter on his son's bed and could not help feeling his heart filled with affection.

\- I brought more sandwiches.

The children spent their afternoon between sandwiches and laughter until they were aware of the weather and one of them began to say goodbye.  
Richie felt full and happy, but this also made him feel guilty, it was a contradiction too big for his mental health.

The first to leave was Bill, saying he hadn't taken Silver and his house was the one that was farthest from Richie's. Being alone in the room with Eddie.  
It felt wrong to be alone with him after suffering all night because of him.

\- At the end which album did you get? - Asked ignoring that the little boy was with his back to the foot of his bed, his eyes lost on the white ceiling of the room.

\- I didn't realize, something pop. - He said without importance. - You know the shit I like.

\- Yes, you like pure bullshit.

\- If it's such bullshit, why do you have it? - Asked turning his face towards Richie.

\- Because you like it, moron. - He answered quickly.

Eddie's decisive gaze had softened, letting out a sigh that left Richie confused, when the little boy sat on the bed and started approaching him.

\- What do you want, Eds? - Richie asked restlessly under his gaze and closeness.

\- Let me sleep with you. - He said pushing lightly while putting one foot between the blankets.

\- I'm sick, I'm going to infect you. - He replied contradicting himself as he moved to the side, giving him more space.

\- I know, that's why I came prepared. - He added, settling himself completely inside Richie's bed, and looking at him lying next to him. - I take precautions.

\- If you tell me you took medication before getting sick, I'm going to-

\- What are you going to do? - he whispered.

A shiver ran through Richie's body, who couldn't help but walk away and blush under his friend's sweet gaze.

\- Shut up, fool. - he whispered to him.

Eddie smiled in response.  
  
It was too counterproductive for Richie feeling so guilty and happy, but he still felt it was the best day of his life.  
They stared in silence, and without notice, they had both fallen asleep after a few minutes.


	5. first kiss (and one more)

\- Eddie, wait for me, little shit - said Richie running after the little one, who walked at a rapid pace, gripping the straps of his backpack.

\- We're late, Richie, walk faster! - He answered without looking back.

\- How is it possible that having such short legs you walk like this? - He said amusingly standing next to him, panting trying to normalize his breathing.

Eddie stared at him with a frown, but his cheeks turned red quickly when he heard his friend gasping shamelessly beside him.

Today after school they had to get together at Bill's house since he wanted all the losers to play with the things he had found in a box in the basement. The idea disturbed Eddie, but he wasn't going to miss a meeting with his friends for a simple old box, full of spiders and dust, dust that could cause allergy and worsen his false asthma.

Richie's breathing had calmed down, but now he was looking at Eddie with no shame, taking advantage of the fact that the little boy was immersed in his thoughts. He had his whole face tilted toward him, inspecting every corner, every freckle and every mark that was once on his face. After a few seconds, Eddie blinked and turned without warning in Richie's direction, with a funny but confused look at the same time.

\- What is it, Rich? - Said smiling, with a voice too sweet to be his.

\- Uh-Uhm... yo-you have shit in your face. - He replied panicking as he ran his fingers over Eddie's cheek spontaneously.

His gaze quickly changed to one full of worry. - Really?! Get that out of my face!

Richie trying not to laugh, he ran his fingers over Eddie's cheek again, cleaning something non-existent and feeling dirty by taking advantage and touching it.

\- Like new, Eds. - He said removing his finger and looking at it with approval.

\- Are you sure? - He asked slightly scared to have shit on his face, but also aware that what he really wanted was to feel Richie's fingers on his face again. - Clean well, Richie.

\- Fuck, Eds, you're fine. - He assured that he obeyed and ran his fingers over the invisible stain again. - Clean, buddy, you're not going to die of some strange crap disease.

\- Yes. No. Have you heard of Lyme? - He said putting his small hand on top of Richie's, pressing on his cheek. - It all starts with a small spot and then death, Rich.

Richie looked at him incredulously and simply smiled nodding, stroked Eddie's cheek a little more and slowly withdrew his hand along with his.

\- You're not going to die, Eds.

They kept walking playfully until they reached Bill's door, where Richie gave three knocks waiting for someone (other than Bill's parents) to open the door for them.

\- You knocked on the door too slowly. - Eddie said nudging him lightly.

\- Then you knock, moron. - He answered hitting him back.

Eddie simply made a sound with his tongue and gave two faint knocks on the door, causing Richie to laugh so hard until he ended up clutching his stomach. - Shit, Eds, those little arms.

\- Shut up, Richie! - He said hitting him on the left arm. - The door is crap!

\- M-my door? - Bill answered in front of them, with the door wide open. - W-what are you laughing at, Ri-rich?

\- Nothing, nothing. - He lied calming his laugh. - How is my Big Bill?

Richie jumped into the arms of his friend, who had to open the door completely to prevent him from bumping into her.

\- Good, Rich. - He replied smilingly wrapping his arms on his friend's back. - Co-come in, please.

Eddie had never been jealous for any of his friends, or the people he once showed interest, but seeing Richie jump into Bill's arms so animatedly made something inside him wake up. Ignoring this “hormonal stupidity,” he greeted his friend with a clash of hands and entered the cozy house.

\- Th-the boys are in my room. - He said pointing up once Richie moved away from him. - Go up, I'll go fi-find something to eat.

\- Thank you, Big B. - Richie replied starting up the stairs.

\- Thank you, Bill. - Eddie repeated, following the highest up the stairs.

As he climbed the stairs behind Richie, he began to notice his friend's long legs, his thin shoulders, but more robust than his, and he also had a good ass.  
He had to admit to himself that he had seen Richie with different eyes for some time, but he had never given himself the time and dedication to observing him in such detail.

Richie was attractive, and he had never seen the possibility of being with someone like him.  
But he liked the idea and it scared him.

\- Eddie, are you coming or not? - Richie asked looking at him from the corner of the hall. - You stood there like a jerk.

Eddie looked at him and nodded, approaching him confused, he had no idea when he had stood still thinking. He passed Richie, who took him by the arm to stop him.

\- You're good? - he whispered worriedly.

\- Yes, asshole. He whispered with a frown, but inside he was melting with love.

Richie Tozier worrying about him made him melt, he felt full of love.

Richie smiled at him trying to decipher something else on Eddie's face and simply let go, without first stroking his hair affectionately and starting to walk towards Bill's room.

They opened the door, seeing Mike, Ben, and Bev sitting on the floor of the room removing things from the dusty box with letters marked in black that were impossible to read at this point.

\- Finally, we thought you two wouldn't come. - Bev said turning awkwardly towards the door, letting the dirty box be removed.

\- We were busy. - Richie replied winking at Beverly, as she walked towards and sat next to her. - What do we have here?

\- Oh, Richie, I found something you're going to like so much. - She said putting her hand in the box again.

Eddie was jealous again as he sat next to Richie, trying not to seem desperate.  
Ben and Mike were entertaining trying to put together an old silver car figure when Bill came in with a fountain full of cookies he had found in his kitchen and left it on the floor among all the children.

\- Crap, Bev, you're amazing! - Richie said receiving a small console from the hands of her friend, who was smiling triumphantly.

\- What is that? - Eddie asked trying to capture his friend's attention.

\- An NES console, Eds. - He said showing happiness in his voice. - It is one of the best.

\- I had no idea you were a console nerd, Richie. - Mike added funny, without looking up from his work. - That's great.  
The other boys laughed slightly and then submerged themselves in their world.

After a while Bev had retired in the company of Ben, who had chivalrously offered to take her home, earning mischievous looks from Mike and Richie, who understood the love triangle between their friends.

Mike was on his back in Bill's bed, reading one of his spirit books, Bill was ordering the things he had gotten from that old basement box and keeping those that seemed to be more fun for him and his friends. While Richie and Eddie were sitting between cushions in one of the corners of the room playing on the console they had achieved.

\- Shit, Richie, I don't understand what the fuck is A. - he replied annoyed while pressing random buttons.

Richie let out a sigh and took the console in Eddie's hands, moving his thumbs around blatantly. - This is the A. - he said pressing his thumb on Eddie's, who pressed the upper button.

\- Ri-right. - answered attentively to Richie's fingers.

\- This is the B. - said lowering Eddie's thumb to the lower button.

\- Fi-fine, I understand! - he shrieked stretching his hands away from Richie and starting a new game.

\- Ri-Richie, don't bother Eddie. - was heard saying from the other side of the room.

\- Sorry, mom. - he whispered amused, bringing his face to Eddie, trying to see the console. - Hey, you're doing great.

Eddie tried to ignore it, ignore the closeness, ignore his breathing in his neck, ignore everything related to Richie and win that fucking game once and for all.

\- That is, Eddie! - He encouraged the little boy, sounding surprised.

Eddie gave a couple more blows, not knowing what he was doing when his enemy's body fell dead on the old screen and the yellow letters that said his victory shone before his eyes.

\- Shit, Eds, you did it! - Shouted surprised while hugging the child. - My God, I would kiss you, come here!

Richie approached his friend's face with his lips stretched out while making kissing sounds, bothering him.

\- Richie, don't be nasty! - answered the little boy, releasing the console and putting his hands on Richie's face, while trying to contain the laughter.

\- Richie, I to-told you not to bo-bother Eddie. - Bill repeated with his back to them, putting a figure of a bird on his bookcase.

\- Fuck, guys, I'm reading. - Mike whispered without looking up from the book.

\- Sorry. - He replied, lengthening the last syllable in a raised voice, slowly moving away from Eddie.

Eddie returned to his place laughing slightly and handed him the console Richie, it was his turn after all. Richie thanked him in a whisper that turned out to be fun, starting a new game.

Eddie was engrossed in Richie's concentration-filled gaze, pressing buttons quickly as he released small insults from his mouth. The game ended in less than two minutes, obviously, the victory was taken by Richie, so Eddie, desperate for closeness, decided to imitate Richie's previous joke.

\- Richie, you did it! - He said with mock happiness as he jumped over the highest and stretched his lips awkwardly. - You won a kiss!

Richie turned his face towards Eddie, with the excuse of seeing his stupid face as he stretched his lips, but ended up receiving Eddie's lips over hers awkwardly. The kiss did not last more than about five seconds, but it had been enough to alter Richie's heart and Eddie's cheeks, who looked more like a tomato than a person while looking into his incredulous eyes.

\- Y-you were supposed to get away, you fucking idiot! - He said shouting in a whisper.

\- How the fuck do you want me to get away when you jump on top of me ?! - Richie replied in the same way, with the cheeks quickly changing color.

\- Uggh, gross! - Eddie yelled, getting off Richie, who was now enduring laughter when he saw his friend's fake an exaggerated reaction.

\- It wasn't even my fucking fault! - He said frowning with a smile on his face.

\- Wh-what's so funny, Richie ?!

Richie shrugged and ignoring all the panic and fear that arose from his throat he said:  
\- You kiss well, Eds. - He said blushing. - But no better than your mom.

Eddie looked surprised and incredulous, his ears burning with shame and he jumped on top of Richie again, but this time he was willing to kill him.

\- You're dead, Tozier! - He said trying to hit him while Richie took him by the wrists.

\- Ri-Richie, this is your last warning. - Bill demanded to turn in the direction of the boys. - What happened to you?

\- Nothing that matters to you! - They answered in unison with a frown, while Richie held Eddie.

Bill looked at them for a few seconds and laughed. - He-hey, you look like tomatoes.

Richie looked at Eddie, realized how cute he looked, with his cheeks too red and his eyes shining fiercely on him.

"Shit, I hope he doesn't give me an erection," Richie thought.

\- O-okay, Eddie, calm down! - He said trying to sound as calm as possible.

\- You calm down! - he replied, settling on Richie's hip, still exerting force to hit him.

The panic enveloped Richie who looked in Bill's direction, who simply laughed slightly with his back to them, so with all the courage in the world he brought his face close to Eddie's and put his lips together. Eddie's grip was released, letting Richie lower the boy's arms and free himself, but he was too confused and scared feeling Eddie put more pressure on his lips.

\- Guys. - Bill said cleaning a figure on his desk, scaring the children who quickly separated, causing Eddie to start coughing and drawing the attention of Bill who turned. - Wh-what are you two doing now?

\- I need my inhaler! - Eddie said hurriedly as he stood up and walked towards the door, feeling as if his legs were jelly.

\- And me the bathroom. - Richie added rising from the floor and quickly leaving the room.

Bill stared dumbfounded at the strange situation and quickly realized what might have happened, so he simply smiled and looked at Mike, who hadn't looked up from that book at any time.

\- Mi-mike, what the fuck, friend?

\- I'm reading, Bill, please.


	6. crying on mommy's legs (and saying "I love you")

After the strange encounter he had had with Eddie the other day in Bill's room, Richie Tozier was more than scared and hiding from all possible danger. He had spent the whole week on the mission of not being seen by his little friend, and he was fulfilling this mission so exaggeratedly that he arrived more than early in his home, spending time with his parents who did nothing but reading, knit and watch television, but it was better than facing his friend, although Eddie had given no indication of being upset, much less being affected by the kiss, but still something in his attitude altered Richie.

Right now, after the bell that ended the Jordanian school on Thursday, Richie was running as fast as possible down the hall to escape through the back door of the school, being involved in several clashes with schoolmates who or never He had seen in his life or he didn't pay enough attention to know who they were. He threw all his weight on the big red door that led to the back street and let out a heavy sigh, looking left and right, anxious.

It took a few minutes for Richie to feel safe, and he began to walk along the edge of the school to get out to the main entrance, stopping at the corner when he saw Eddie chat with Ben, who looked quite oblivious to the conversation at Be looking for Bev in the crowd. Richie hid slightly on the edge of the cold brick wall, without taking his eyes off the little boy a few meters in front of him, watching every movement and the way his lips moved quickly. Eddie only moved his lips that fast when he was talking about something important.

\- Hey, cock sucker. - A voice was heard behind him, leaving Richie frozen.

What a shit to be found watching the guy you like, he thought as Henry Bowers took him by the collar of his shirt.

\- Spying on boys, sick of shit? - He spat on his face while positioning him against the wall.

Richie didn't answer, he could deal with the mocking lies that came out of Henry's mouth, but not with the truths.

Vic Criss, the second in command of Henry's disgusting gang, laughed boldly in front of Richie's face as he ran a hand down his cheek. - Why do you look at me like that? - asked funny. - Do you want to suck my cock too, gross bitch?

\- No. - he said in a whisper, looking at his feet.

\- What did you say, little shit? - Vic asked in his ear.

\- Not even a shit like me wants to touch your fucking penis, Victor. - He replied feeling a lump in his throat while receiving the first blow on his cheek and his glasses bounce on the ground.

\- Besides being a fag, selective. - Henry said laughing at him as he pressed Richie's chest harder against the wall, which was hurting his back. - Say sorry.

\- No. - he whispered, receiving another blow to the cheek.

\- Say sorry! - He insisted annoyed, without giving time to respond and hitting Richie's stomach.

\- Apologize to me! - Vic said with fury and mockery in his voice.

Richie was coughing too much to respond to the bully's requests, causing more fury in them and more blows to his face.

\- You're going to apologize, piece of shit! - Henry shouted, releasing Richie and hitting his stomach again, this time causing the child to kneel on the floor while grabbing his abdomen, trying to inhale the air he needed while his throat burned.

\- Not even that can make the fag. - Victor added, with a look full of power over Richie. - Let's go, Henry, there are better things to do.

\- You're going to apologize next time, you fucking fag. - Henry said spitting on Richie's body, turning around and disappearing along with Victor.

He simply stood there, lying on the ground, holding his body as if it was going to break, trying to contain everything he asked to get out of his throat while he felt his eyes ready to shed liters of tears on the ground in hopes of watering something.

He felt dirty, very dirty and again guilty of everything.

After a few minutes, he sat on the floor as he ran his hands around in search of his glasses, finding them to the left of his foot and wiping them slowly. It was an image too sad to see, he was a dejected man after a battle he had not fought, because, for him, he deserved all the blows he had just received, not the insults, not the provocations, but he deserved the punishment.

He got up slowly, running his hands around his clothes in the hope that the blood and earth stains would somehow come out, and he started walking home. He simply walked in silence, at a slow pace, without looking at anything but his feet. He was too focused on not untying the lump in his throat.

He opened the door silently, and when he set foot in his home he could feel the tears run down his cheeks. In a panic, he slammed the door behind him and ran up the stairs, ignoring his mother's angry call from some room in the house.

He threw himself on his bed, feeling like that place was the only place where he could feel safe and began to sob exaggeratedly while he felt his mother's steps down the hall, he didn't want to see her, he didn't want her to enter the room, no He wanted his mother to see him, because, despite all the arguments and all the feelings of guilt that his mother felt, he still loved her because he knew she loved him and that hurt him too much at that moment.

Richie felt that he was betraying his mother's love.

\- Honey, what's up? - It was heard saying from the door, but Richie could do nothing but shake his head.

His mother quickly approached him, sitting beside him while stroking her hair the only way a mother can do it.

\- Richie, it's fine. - He said trying to hide the fear in his voice. - Come with mom.

And these were the words that managed to alter the last thing Richie had of self-control. Crawling to her mother's legs and shedding every tear that had been held back by her lies, and allowing herself to be calmed by her mother's caresses, Richie had never felt safer.

\- What happened, sweetheart? - asked his mother again, but this time in a whisper, feeling the tranquility of his son under all the tears shed.

\- They just told me ugly things, mom. - He managed to say between sobs, without looking up.

\- Ugly things, honey? - said his mother doubtfully.

Richie didn't want to tell her, her mother, no matter how cruel she may have been sometimes, no matter how insistent she was on the subject of her love life, no matter how good a mother she is sometimes, she felt that she was not able to do something to her. So. How to tell your mother that you are sick of a disease that you do not know how to cure ?, Thinking about it made him cry even more.

He blamed his mother for being a bad mother and he was the worst of the children.

\- I'm sorry, mom. - He said breathlessly as he hugged his mother's legs tightly. - I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Her mother did not understand but he did not blame her for that.  
She simply kept stroking her son's hair and holding it in her arms.

Richie was exhausted from crying so much, his eyes burned and his head ached, but there he was, wrapped in his bed eating some chocolate cakes his mother had made with the excuse that they would make him feel better and remove all traces of sadness.

His mother was sitting at the foot of her bed, drinking tea from a small porcelain cup with flowers drawn tenderly. Richie felt loved and protected, but he couldn't let himself be removed under the look his mother gave him from time to time when he looked up after taking a sip of his tea as if he expected to find something in his son.

\- Does it still hurt, honey? - Maggie asked, breaking the silence in the room.

\- No, the emergency kit worked, mom. - He said earning a loving smile from his mother.

\- I knew we would need it, I told your father. - he replied happily taking another big sip. - But I didn't mean that, my love.

Richie felt that lump in his throat again, he wasn't used to so many direct signs of love.

\- I feel better. - He said without a trace of lies behind his words.

A smile crossed his mother's face, which rose to leave the cup of tea on the small table next to Richie's bed and approach to hug him. - You know I'll always be for you, right? - he whispered stroking his son's hair.

\- I know. - the boy whispered in response, feeling like his mother grabbed his cheeks and kissed his forehead when the bell was heard ringing in the distance.

\- I'll go see what they want. - She said releasing him with a sigh. - Many sellers are coming to the houses lately.

\- Because people don't go shopping anymore, mom. - He replied trying to adapt to the cold of the room without his mother's arms around. - People are too lazy.

\- Including you. - Maggie added trying to be fun, even if that is her son's job.

She disappeared through the door leaving her son behind as he walked down the stairs at a hurried pace, he didn't want to leave Richie alone at such a time.

Maggie had fully understood what her son was trying to tell her, she had been assuming it for a while, but honestly, she didn't want to accept that reality and simply kept insisting that Richie was simply a shy boy with women and needed a little push. It was wrong. Richie would never be interested in a woman and Maggie felt guilty about this.  
So many times she had told his son that he must have been a girl, so long wishing he was a girl, and refusing to have another child for fear that he might also be a boy. She could barely understand his 16-year-old son, how would he understand two? Such things ate the poor woman day and night, thinking that she had committed the worst sin of all, and now God was punishing her for having a homosexual son. A homosexual son who loved.

But Maggie was scared, and she didn't know how she could discuss this with her husband. A believing man with total pride in his son, who believed he would be the perfect husband of a sweet woman, giving him grandchildren when the time came.

Maggie opened the door, and looked forward, unable to spot anyone in front of her.

\- U-Uhm... Mrs. Tozier. - said a trembling voice.

She looked down at her son's best friend, playing with her fingers.

\- Eddie, what do you need? - The woman replied.

\- Is Richie at home? - He asked trying not to sound worried, but anyone would have noticed.

\- Yes, darling. - She said to think about it for a moment. - but it doesn't feel good.

\- Can I see Richie? - He added quickly without looking at her face. - I promise not to do anything to bother him or you.

Maggie tender for the little boy had no choice but to nod and let him in. Eddie was always the boy who cared most for Richie, and one of the most respectful, after Bill.

\- I'll see if it's good enough for you to get on, wait on the couch if you want. - Said trying to sound as friendly as possible while watching the small nod and walk to the red sofa in front of the fireplace.

She climbed the stairs and entered his son's room, without first giving three light knocks on the door, giving notice of his arrival. Watching Richie eat his cakes while looking at her with his dull eyes.

\- Did you buy anything? - He asked to see that his mother did not speak and feeling uncomfortable about the silence.

\- No, they weren't selling. - She said entering completely as she closed the door behind his back and lowered his voice so as not to be heard by anyone but his son. - It's Eddie.

\- Eddie? - Asked trying not to choke on half a cake in his mouth. - Is here?

The mother nodded. - He wants to see you, do you want or…?

Richie was silent for a second, pondering his possible options in an awkward conversation with Eddie, but he simply sighed and nodded. - Yes, it doesn't bother me.

\- Anything you yell at me and I come to rescue you. - She added leaving the room and walking towards the stairs. - Eddie, you can go up. - she said aloud to the little one, who was already getting up quickly from the sofa and walking towards the stairs.

Maggie returned to her son's room to remove her cup from the small table and lower the empty cake plate to fill it, feeling the little one enter the room.

\- Richie, I thought you were dead! - Eddie squealed as he entered the room, throwing himself on Richie's bed without waiting for an answer.

\- Not yet.

The mother turned to analyze if her son felt comfortable, encountering a look full of love from her son, but the look was not for her. His eyes were shining and he had a stupid smile on his face as he watched his friend crawl across the bed to position herself beside him, and there Maggie understood that she would give anything to see his son happy, no matter what her husband thought, She had no fucking obligation to tell him.

\- Do you want me to bring you more cakes, boys? - Said turning completely towards them.

\- Don't worry, mom. - Richie answered looking up.

Maggie nodded with a smile and knelt to kiss his son's forehead, watching his cheeks begin to turn red with shame at the little laugh that had come out of his friend's mouth, so without delay Maggie stretched a little more to kiss Eddie's forehead, who did nothing but hold the air and get even redder than his son.

\- Do not fight. - She said to leave the room, leaving the two boys in nothing but his company.

Eddie took off his shoes as he threw them somewhere in Richie's room and put his legs inside the blankets. - You're not sick or something, right?

\- Why? - He asked amusedly seeing his friend's panic stare.

\- I didn't bring anything to protect myself with. - he admitted. - I came without thinking.

\- Eddie didn't think about the possibility of going to a place full of germs? - He said with mock print. - What did you do to my Eddie?

There was a silence from the little one, who simply stared at Richie thoughtfully.

\- Are you sick, Richie? - He whispered about to have an attack, causing Richie to laugh and give him a tap on the shoulder trying to reassure him.

\- No, dude. I'm fine, I'm not going to spread anything strange to you - he said funny.

Eddie let out a sigh of relief and the room fell silent again, causing Richie for the first time to realize that he was in his room, lying next to Eddie just after having been avoiding him for days due to a kiss that was his guilt, and felt that he lacked the air. Did Eddie feel that he had an asthma attack?

\- I missed you, moron. - Eddie spat looking at his hands. - Have you been to class?

\- Yes, but I left earlier. - He admitted tenderly to the sincerity of Eddie.

\- That's why I haven't seen you. - He whispered, pulling his body back, settling between Richie's pillows. - I wanted to apologize for what happened at Bill's house.

\- It wasn't your fault, idiot. - He said quickly. - We just panicked and went home.

\- Yes, but I threw myself on you.

\- And I approached later.

Eddie turned his face towards Richie.

\- Ah, yes... It was your fault then. - He said trying to sound as carefree as possible.

\- Exactly, so I'm so sorry. - He answered sitting up and up until his back crashed into the wall, watching Eddie as he raised his left hand and approached it. - Friends?

Eddie took his hand and shook it slightly. - Friends.

Richie broke the contact as soon as the words came out of the boy's mouth and let out a sigh. Watching Eddie climb the covers to cover Richie's waist with them, as if he were protecting him. Eddie's presence made him forget the beating he had been given

\- Thanks? - Richie said funny watching Eddie finish his work by lightly patting acceptance on his legs and hiding his hand again between the blankets.

\- Is nothing. - He replied hiding his head between the pillows. - Shit, Richie, it smells too much to you.

\- It will be because is my bed, silly shit. - he replied.

\- Yes, but you know, fucker. - said giving him a light tap on the arm.

Richie laughed lightly, lying down and settling at Eddie's height, staring at the white ceiling of his room.

\- I smell bad? - he asked without knowing where that question had come from.

\- Uhm... - Eddie thought for a second. - No, you smell like cigarettes and cheap sweets.

\- How are you close to me if I smell like a cigarette? And your asthma? - he asked again, feeling like Eddie played with his arm, running his little fingers around.

\- I told you I can take it, it doesn't bother me. - he admitted. - I like how you smell.

\- That's the weirdest thing you said, Eds. - He laughed slightly, looking down at the boy, who clung more to his arm. - Eds, what's up?

\- Nothing. - He replied in a trembling voice.

\- Hey, no, are you going to cry? - Asked worried, raising the arm that Eddie caressed and passing it through his body, in a strange hug.

\- Of course not, moron. - Eddie said snuggling in Richie. - I just got sentimental. Don't laugh, piece of shit!

\- I'm not going to laugh, fucking bitch, don't get upset so fast!

\- Fine. - he whispered hiding between Richie's ribs.

\- Good. - He replied with a small chuckle. - Eddie, I'm tickly.

\- Shit, it's true. - He said coming out of hiding and looking at Richie thoughtfully. - Can l…?

\- You can…? - He asked waiting for the little one to continue, begging because he wasn't asking for a kiss.

\- Get into your personal space? - Asked watching Richie's face who simply laughed.

\- You're already in my personal space, Eds. - He replied amused.

\- Well, then fuck. - He said climbing on top of Richie, wrapping him in a clumsy hug as he put his head on his chest and tangled his legs with his, feeling like his heart and Richie's began to beat faster.

Richie put an arm over Eddie's waist. - Well, how ignominious. My beats make me look like a complete idiot.

Eddie laughed and felt like kissing him, but simply tried to relax and try to calm Richie.

\- Richie.

\- Eddie. - Said taking time to answer, caressing the child's waist slightly.

\- I like you.

\- I know. - He answered with his chest pressed. - I love you.


	7. jealousy (and in love)

\- Guys, hurry up! - Bev shouted walking at a hurried pace next to Bill.

All the losers were walking quickly down the desolate street, full of emotion. Ben was playing a baseball game today because the librarian had told his mother if he could participate in a charity game for the library, Ben couldn't refuse.

\- Beverly, I don't have the longest legs in the world! - Eddie said, moving his legs as fast as he could, trying to regulate his breathing while doing so, preventing asthma from attacking his lungs.

Bill turned his head back to see the boys lovingly walking as fast as his body allowed them, and nodding his head approving of what Eddie had just said.

\- We had to bring bicycles. - Mike was heard saying while nudging Richie to get his attention, but he was too focused on not stop moving his legs and on his friend's breathing, with the nerves on edge to feel that at any second he had an asthma attack

\- Eddie, the-there is little left, yo-you can. - Bill encouraged from the front, while raising his left hand in support, causing more pressure on the little one. Eddie tried to ignore his lungs and began to lose synchronization with his breathing, feeling a discomfort growing in his lungs.

\- Guys, we're late. - Stan said slightly worried that he failed his friend. - Eddie, can you...

\- Alright, Eds, get on! - Richie interrupted him stopping the step and bending down slightly.

\- What? - Eddie replied stopping while trying to regulate his breathing.

\- Get on my back, I'll take you, hurry up! - Richie repeated without giving Eddie time to think, who climbed on his back quickly clinging tightly to his shoulders.

Richie got up without first running his hands down Eddie's legs, asserting his butt trying not to be too bold and getting used to the weight on his back to start walking briskly again.

\- What a gentleman, Richie. - Stan said passing by.

\- As it should be, moron. - He answered looking funny.

They shared a smile and look full of complicity to keep walking with their eyes straight ahead, listening to Bev's insults for being late.

\- Hey, all right, Eds? - he whispered moving his head slightly up.

\- Yes, it only makes it hard for me to breathe. - he whispered in response, leaving his head on Richie's shoulder trying to calm his breathing, without realizing that he was inches from the neck and ear of his friend, who was causing a tremor in his legs.

Once in the game, they searched for a place quickly, trying to disturb as little as possible all the people who were sitting watching the game. The game had started at least fifteen minutes ago, but Ben still didn't seem to have entered the field, causing relief in the hearts of all his friends.

\- Thank you for bringing me, Rich. - Eddie said once sitting as an Indian on the benches, a place higher than his friend with Stan.

\- Don't thank me, then you must pay. - He replied trying to sound as serious as possible, while turning his body forward, paying attention to the game.

\- There is! - said Bev pointed to a small and plump point that greeted from the benches along with about five more boys.

The six losers cheerfully greeted their friend, feeling immense pride, even if it was only a charity match by obligation.

\- That bo-boy doesn't know wh-what he's doing. - Bill whispered at his side, pointing with his gaze at a tall boy, with light hair and quite attractive.

\- Why do you say that? - Asked feeling slightly dumbfounded by the boy's movements.

\- He has the ba-baseball bat upside down.

Richie burst out laughing when he realized it was infecting Bill, who lightly punched his thigh for the euphoria of laughter.

\- What are you two laughing at? - Stan asked amused along with Eddie, bringing their heads slightly towards their friends.

\- That pretty boy is taking the baseball bat backward. - Richie replied containing a laugh as he pointed the boy with his right hand.

Both boys laughed so hard once they looked up that caused Bill and Richie to laugh more intensely, earning a disapproving look from Bev, who was still moving his arms in Ben's direction.  
Eddie kept laughing until he realized Richie's words and watched the fool boy carefully. He wore a short too short showing his long legs, had light hair with curlers covering his eyes and a sickly silhouette.

\- What does he have as pretty? - He whispered in Richie's ear, causing him to suddenly stop laughing and his body tense.

\- Uh? - He said pulling his head back to look at Eddie.

\- The boy, what does he have? - He asked again, raising his voice slightly and frowning.

\- It was just a way to describe it, Eds. - He replied feeling his cheeks blush. - He is the only boy who stands out from the rest of the players.

\- Yes, I understand, but what does he have that you like? - He asked again trying not to sound annoying, he didn't want his friend to misunderstand him.

\- He? Like me? - He whispered, frowning, raising his head quickly and turning his entire body in the direction of Eddie. - I don't even know him, Eddie.

\- Yes, but he has something you liked.

\- Look. - He said putting his hands on Eddie's legs. - When you see someone with more striking physical characteristics than the rest, how-

\- Yes, Richie. - He stopped him by putting his hands on top of his friend's. - But I'm not talking about that.

\- Hey, if you are going to kiss do it at once. - Stan said causing both to look at him with hate.

\- We're in the middle of something, moron.

\- Yes, asshole.

Stan lifted his middle finger in their direction. - In the middle of aiming to have sex, please, it is a public place.

\- Fuck you, Stan. - Richie said turning again, turning his back on Eddie. - I was also about to have sex with your cousin.

\- Nobody believes that shit, Rich.

\- St-stop fighting. - Bill intervened, turning his face giving Stan a look of disapproval and whispering something.

After thirty minutes of long wait Ben had finally left the field, he was the pitcher of his team and it showed in his steps that he was fucking nervous, so his friends as losers who are climbed on the banks and started to cheer him up as hard as they could, earning thousands of annoyed looks and a look full of love.  
The match was not a wonder, but it was good as far as possible, earning applause from baseball fans. The losers ran towards the exit to meet Ben, who received them with a smile and wet hair.

\- You played so well, new boy! - Bev said, ruffling her hair and soaking her hand without giving it much importance.

\- Thank you, Bev. - the little one whispered blushing as he lowered his head in an attempt to hide.

\- Yes, Ben! I would come to see you play again. - Mike said hitting him on the back.

\- Everyone was fucking scared when they saw you come in, winner. - Richie added with a smile.

\- Guys, please. - Ben said hiding behind his hands trying to suppress a smile.

\- Hey. - A shout was heard from the bottom. He was the pretty boy who ran in the direction of the losers, with soaked hair and a towel in his hand.

\- You kept the towel in the showers, boy. - He said once in front of Ben, holding out his hand.

\- Thank you. - He replied sadly receiving the towel.

\- There is no problem my friend. - He added to take a look at the boys around Ben, smile in greeting and leave where he had appeared.

Richie didn't take his eyes off him at any time, something everyone had noticed, but they ignored not to make his friend feel uncomfortable, except Eddie. Eddie was openly expressing his disgust staring at Richie with a frown.

Well, yes, the boy was pretty, but that was what bothered Eddie. He was more than clear that he liked Richie, and he was admitting his feelings for his friend, but it made him feel a bad taste in his mouth knowing that Richie could notice a boy better than him when they had already progressed so much, and he needed to know what that boy had that he didn't.

\- Rich - He whispered approaching and pulling his shirt to get his attention.

\- Hmn? - He answered looking down at his friend.

\- Let's have some ice cream to celebrate Ben! - Bev said animatedly, giving Ben a slight push and walking towards the door together.

\- I want some milkshakes. - Stan growled, starting to walk towards Mike, behind them.

\- Mi-milkshakes sound good. - Bill added following both boys. - Richie, Eddie, a-are you coming?

\- Yes, walking. - He answered looking at Eddie. - What's up, Eds?

Eddie shook his head. - Come on, idiot, later we argue.

\- Argue? What the fuck did I do now? - Asked walking slowly watching as Eddie continued to take the light fabric of his shirt.

\- Exist, Tozier. - He replied with a sarcastic tone and released Richie. - Walk faster.

\- But you have short legs. - He whispered to receive an elbow in the stomach.

The losers were taking their respective milkshakes sitting on the soft lawn of Derry's central square, talking and laughing at the nonsense that only they understand when this time it was Mike who came up with the brilliant idea of spending time playing a game that Richie hated, truth or dare. This time there was no bottle to choose a player who could continue to be chosen multiple times, now it was in turns, Richie could not get rid of that, so with all the strength that his brain provided, he began to suck as quickly as he could his milkshake.

\- Eddie, you start. - Ben said taking a sip of his milkshake. - Truth or Dare?

\- Dare. - He answered decidedly.

\- I dare you to eat grass.

\- Do you want to kill me, son of a bitch?! - he shouted scared. - Do you know how much shit there is there?!

Richie couldn't contain the laughs earning a look full of hate from Eddie.

\- Ben, that's suicide for Eddie. - Stan said trying not to laugh.

\- Well, put on Richie's glasses.

Eddie looked at Richie who had stopped laughing and was still suffocating with the milkshake and struck him lightly on the back, causing him to keep his mouth away from the sorbet.

\- Leave that or it can give you a spill. Give me the glasses. - He said putting a hand on Richie's glasses and taking them off to put on his nose

\- Hey, now I'm blind.

\- Richie, true or dare? - Mike asked amused.

\- U-Uhm... me? - He said confused. - True?

\- Who do you like? - asked again.

At that moment his soul had left his body, he had no problem admitting to Eddie how much he loved him because he knew he took it as a joke but admitting that he liked it in front of all his friends was something too twisted.

\- I think it was very direct, Mike. - Beverly interrupted to see her friend's face.

\- Y-Yes, Mike.

\- I'm sorry, you may be ashamed to admit it. - Mike apologized. - So, which letter does her name start with?

\- With the letter... - he whispered looking out of the corner of his eye to Eddie, who looked at him curiously with his glasses on. - E.

\- E? - Ben replied amused while Richie nodded. - Who is E?

"Shit," was the only thing Richie's mind thought.

\- Eddie's mom.

\- Hey, idiot. - Eddie replied giving him a push trying to hide his smile.

The other boys just burst out laughing.

\- Stan. - Beverly asked.

\- True. - He said immediately.

\- A direct man. - Richie added trying to put his voice as masculine as possible, earning a laugh from Eddie, who put his hand on Richie's carelessly, feeling like panic left and was replaced by peace.

\- Is it true that Richie is your best friend? - Beverly asked.

\- No never. - He replied while shaking his head showing disgust on his face.

\- You chose truth, Stan. - Eddie said.

\- Yes, don't lie, Stanley. - Richie added hiding his hand behind his back, preventing others from seeing the touch between them.

\- Do you think you're my best friend, shit? - He said trying to sound annoying.

\- I don't think so, I am.

\- No one believes that.

\- I do. - Mike said.

\- Too. - Beverly said.

\- When I joined here I thought Stan and Richie were best friends. - Ben added.

Bill simply laughed silently.

\- Are you fucking with me? - Stan said crossing his arms. - Support and care don't mean that he is my best friend.

\- I think so. - Bill whispered.

\- Okay, leave my best friend alone. - Richie said patting Stan.

\- Thank you, Richie. - Stan replied. - But I don't like you.

The afternoon passed quickly, with no more problems than to think that Eddie's mother would be worried when the clock struck six o'clock and Eddie was not at home, so the losers ended up separating and going to their homes.

\- You don't have to go with me, Richie. - Eddie said watching Richie walk beside him while humming a song he didn't know.

\- Yes, you and I have to argue, remember? - He answered fixing his glasses that slipped down his nose.

\- It was nothing important. It was for the pretty boy from the baseball game.

\- Oh - He replied keeping silent for a moment. - He was simply flashy.

\- Yes, it was just stupid at the moment. - He said looking at Richie who was nervous.  
Walking together like this, in silence with the sun setting in front of them, he made Eddie feel as if there was nothing but them in the world, and that put him at peace, he didn't have to think about his mother screaming, about possible diseases that I could get from having taken milkshake on the floor-

\- You are cuter. - spit Richie looking down.

\- O-okay, idiot, I said it's over.

\- And I wouldn't trade you for anyone else. - He said with his eyes fixed on his feet.

\- Richie, no-

\- You're the only one who-

Eddie took it from his shirt and pushed it back slightly to punch him in the stomach. - I said it doesn't matter. - He said with burning cheeks. - Please, sh.

Richie stopped to take his stomach, the little boy hit hard when he intended. - I-is that your way to shut me up? - Richie replied stroking her stomach. - I expected a-

He felt how the little boy quickly brought his lips together with his, feeling the heat of his breathing, then moved away and looked in all possible directions.

\- Di-did anyone sees us? - Richie whispered.

\- No. - he whispered imitating him as he released his shirt. 

\- We look like criminals. - Richie said funny.

\- Fugitives. - said releasing a sigh and starting to walk again.

\- Fugitive from your love! - Richie added in a melodious voice.

\- Don't sing, idiot. - He answered trying to sound annoying but a laugh escaped his lips.

\- Can't stop falling like the fugitive from your love. - Richie continued humming, earning a look full of love.

Eddie couldn't believe he had fallen in love with a moron.


End file.
